By A Mystery Man Writer
1. Select inspiration image. Spend 8 years looking for just the right lace. 2. Meanwhile, peer at low resolution image for 8 years, plotting. 3. Make tracing paper template for lace pattern. Cut lace pieces to fit. 4. Spray starch lace pieces so that they resemble cardboard (insert criminal mastermind laugh of doom now this diaphanous lace will be much easier to manipulate, inviting the envy of Instagram).
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